The second step to success OR what to do when you fail?

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” 

~Winston Churchill

I posted about ‘waking up early’ two days ago. Most people stick to their habit change regimes for some days before giving up. But, I bombed the first two days only. That wasn’t supposed to happen, was it?

Now, I’m not going to give up, until I get what I want, but my failure on first couple of days has really stung me a lot. So, it got me thinking. What is wrong with my approach?

When I failed at keeping my commitment, following thoughts started creeping into my mind:

‘I can’t do even this much? Am I so weak that I can’t even stick with a change this simple? Am I fit for nothing? I’m never going to change.’

So, what I was doing was:

1. I was being negative.

2. I was being too hard on myself. 

3. I was doubting my abilities. 

4. I was wondering, if I was good enough to change myself. 

I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, shame and self-hatred. That’s when I realised, why they say- ‘failure is the first step to success’, because that’s the hardest one to overcome. Cause, these are the feelings that are hardest to digest. But, I know I’m not going to give up. I know what I want. I know I want to improve myself. 

The first step to success is failure, but the second step is to suck it up and keep going forward. 

If one’s initiative to change is stemming from self hatred & the feeling of not being enough; I think one will inevitably succumb to doubting his abilities & fail. 

As a solution you often get this advice: ‘Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.’ Easy to say, very tough to do. I’ve tried to switch to positive thinking many times. And unfortunately, I couldn’t make it work. Cause I always forgot, that I have to think positive thoughts, when I started thinking negatively.

Action steps:

1. For an hour per day be intentionally positive. Believe with all your soul that, you’re unstoppable.

2. When you do things negatively or react inappropriately, just acknowledge the fact; try not to judge yourself.   

3. Accept that you are imperfect & you can’t change this fact. So, don’t try to. Perfection is an illusion. 

If you don’t like yourself, acknowledge that first. Find out it’s causes, try to resolve them. Cause, merely replacing negative thoughts with positive ones won’t work, if you don’t accompany it with some positive action.

Conclusion:

Remember, no matter who you are or what you become, there’ll always come a time when you’ll doubt yourself. Cause, in the matters of mind there’s no absolute. Cause, in the matters of the mind, things are never in black & white; they’re always in greyscale. Once you acknowledge that, you’ll begin to appreciate the different shades life has to offer and once you learn to do that, your life will be colourful. 

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