Floodgates

My mind is a clueless riddle. 

I’m lost within my own maze. 

I’m slave to my own thoughts

& my brain is my prison cell. 

And after trying all the remedies the doctors sell,

I’ve found that writing is my only help. 

But sometimes even the muse goes awfully quiet;

& like the springs in summer,

my words just dry out. 

Leaving all the half chewed feelings stuck in my throat,

Their sickness itching me till I choke. 

My brain dangles in a thoughtless numb haze,

& with it I’m the only one left. 

I’m scared… 

& I’m desperate to feel anything over this nothingness;

Scrambling to fill myself with any emotions,

But my emptiness eats all of them. 

Leaving me alone to ponder my life & regrets. 

Raising the questions I never had any answers for. 

Slapping the reality in my face. 

Reminding me of your absence;

& finally opening the floodgates 

to the worst emotions possible-

Guilt, hurt, regret & shame. 

***

Half of the credit for this poem goes to my friend heyletsthink

***

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