In the closet of memories,
There’s a hiding spot untraceable to me.
There she waits.
Till I open my next beer.
And I oblige.
For drinking is my new religion.
& once I’m drunk enough,
She comes for a visit.
& all the feelings I’d forgotten I could feel,
Come rushing right back to the surface,
For a fresh breath of life.
Leaving me disoriented & dizzy again.
And in that breathless state;
My mask always slips.
And I drown in self hate & self pity.
And it’s not pretty,
Knowing the real me.
Sure, the time has healed the wounds.
But the scars are still there.
I show them to the world.
‘See? I wasn’t always afraid to love.’
I mumble in my drunken state.
Embarrassing my classy friends.
But she doesn’t care.
She waits till I’m sober again.
& then we say our goodbyes…
And there she goes leaving me again.
& I pretend like I never cared.
But come each night,
I drink till I drown in my past.
Where she’s always there.
Hiding in the closet of memories.
Where everything’s alright,
& we got nothing but time.
Where she can’t cheat
& go somewhere I can’t follow.
Where she can’t die…
…until I do, too.
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