Memories

In the closet of memories, 

There’s a hiding spot untraceable to me.

There she waits. 

Till I open my next beer.

And I oblige. 

For drinking is my new religion. 

& once I’m drunk enough,

She comes for a visit. 

& all the feelings I’d forgotten I could feel, 

Come rushing right back to the surface,

For a fresh breath of life. 

Leaving me disoriented & dizzy again.

And in that breathless state;

My mask always slips.

And I drown in self hate & self pity. 

And it’s not pretty,

Knowing the real me.

Sure, the time has healed the wounds. 

But the scars are still there.

I show them to the world. 

‘See? I wasn’t always afraid to love.’

I mumble in my drunken state. 

Embarrassing my classy friends. 

But she doesn’t care. 

She waits till I’m sober again. 

& then we say our goodbyes…

And there she goes leaving me again. 

& I pretend like I never cared. 

But come each night,

I drink.

I drink till I drown in my past. 

Where she’s always there. 

Hiding in the closet of memories. 

Where everything’s alright,

& we got nothing but time.

Where she can’t cheat 

& go somewhere I can’t follow. 

Where she can’t die… 

…until I do, too. 

***

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