Man of No Memory

I want to be a man of no memory.

So, I’m choosing to give you up now.

I want to be a man of no memory.

And I’m gonna fake it until I make it.

So if you comeback, please don’t be surprised,

if I act like I don’t know you.

Please don’t ask me questions & tempt my resolve.

Believe me when I ask- who are you?

Please do that much for me.

Only you know how much I suck at lying.

Don’t try to dig up the truth.

It’s only gonna hurt worse.

The truth is- I want to be a man of no memory; but I remember everything.

I might say I hate you; but I’m gonna keep on loving you.

I know I might always need you; but the truth is-

I just don’t want you anymore.

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The Old Man’s Watch

“What time is it?” The child asked.

“My watch seems to have stopped.” The old man said.

“Don’t you miss it? Don’t you get lonely stuck in the same time? Don’t you miss the idea of a future?” The child inquired.

“The past is my future.” The old man replied.

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The It

I don’t know how to make you understand, that I won’t ever leave you.
No matter how bad you act to test my faith,
No matter how hard you try to earn my hate,
No matter how hard you try to push me away,
It’s just not going to happen.
Like I have- a million times before- I’ll say it again.
In my life’s game of Tag
You have always been The It.
So you might as well just suck it up and enjoy the play.
Quit this nonsense of being unworthy and just let me do my job of loving you to death.

***

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Dreamless

You say- it is the shortage of time which results in insufficiency of your efforts.

But the truth is, it’s the seeming abundance of it which makes you procrastinate.

And like all illusions, this illusion of unlimited time is only true until it isn’t.

By the time the realisation dawns upon you, it might already be too late.

By the time you wake up it might already be the season of dying.

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Oblivion Road

I love myself, I do-

Enough to not die, but not enough to live.

I wake up and I walk.

I do all which is necessary.

I do all that’s expected of me.

But I’m empty, there’s no passion in me.

I walk, I breathe and I exist.

I assure you I’m not dead.

Not yet.

But I’m not alive either.

I’m a warrior with least resistance.

I’m a light on the oblivion road.

I’m a gambler of time and hope.

I measure less and less as I grow old.

I walk and watch other people run.

I walk and manage to move no place.

I love myself, I do.

I just don’t like me anymore.

***

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The Couriers

I am going through a bit of writer’s block at the moment, so I am doing the next best thing- Reading. I am currently reading Sylvia Plath’s Ariel and I am absolutely smitten by her work. Today, I want to talk about the second poem of the book – The Couriers. If you haven’t read the poem, you can find it here.

This poem is concise; it’s written using simple words and yet it is marvellously enigmatic. So being a curious person, I naturally wanted to understand it.

This is my humble analysis of the poem.

Here goes nothing.

The first three stanzas portray contrasting elements, which can not exist together; and the courier- the poetess is trying to caution the reader about the same. The word of a snail on the plate of a leaf is not trustworthy, because it is sure to have reached the recipient in an adulterated, half-eaten form. The snail and the leaf are doomed from the start, because the snail will eat the leaf- its primary food- slowly and surely.

The second stanza talks about Acetic acid stored in a sealed tin. The poetess doubts the genuineness of acetic acid- because it is stored in a sealed tin. Tin being a soft metal can not withstand co-existence with acid. The acid will end up bending the Tin at its will. The Tin would lose it’s identity, shape and would be left unrecognizable. And if that’s not the case, then surely the acid is not genuine. Or it is weak and watered down.

The third stanza talks about a ring of gold with the sun in it. The promise of eternal sunshine is false; because the sun will surrender eventually to the night. And a gold ring with the sun in it might look spectacular at first, but how long can the gold withstand a high-tempered sun before it melts?

The poetess based on the evidence provided proposes that- promises are nothing but lies that lead to grief.

Fourth and fifth stanza summarizes grief, with the conclusion of the leaf as:- ‘Frozen, empty (like an immaculate cauldron), crazy-talking to itself at the end of the mountain.’ The nine black alps might signify nine such episodes shrouded in darkness. Or maybe it refers to the idea of having nine lives (like a cat) and repeating the same mistake in all of them? Maybe it refers to the inevitability of reaching the same conclusion? Maybe it’s a throwback to the dark emotions of Lady Lazarus? My guess is as good as anybody’s. Maybe it’s referring to all these things. I’d like to think it is.

The sixth stanza flips the poem upside down and does it so beautifully. It refers to a disturbance in the mirrors. I think mirrors mean sky here. The nine shrouded alps are shrouded no more. Maybe the night is ending and the disturbance is the dawn. Maybe the disturbance means the lifting of the grey clouds.

I think the grey sea means the sorrows of the mind. Just as on arrival of light, the sea changes its colour; The shattering of the mirror means- that with the arrival of hope, the mind will cast aside its sadness.

With a beautiful finishing line, the poetess admits her affection for love. Signifying no matter what happens, love remains a human being’s basic need. Showing no matter what happens the capacity of a person to love- and by implication- to forgive remains endless. In this way, the poem that questions and denounces love at every turn- restores the reader’s faith in the idea of love at the end.

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